Due to recent news stories, we would like to allay any fears that the dates on Pollstar.com are anything less than 100 percent sanitary.
Perhaps you've already heard about the reports of several people being hospitalized for tourmaine poisoning after viewing dates for Eve 6 and Boyz II Men on that other concert schedule Web site. Such a tragedy. Worst yet, it could have been prevented.
We've been in the show date collection business for over 140 years, ever since we tracked the Civil War USO tour of Bimbo the Dancing Mule through Pennsylvania and Ohio. We understand the hazards brought about by serving unclean dates, and rest assured, every single date, like Joanna Connor in Chicago on January 21, 2001 has been carefully selected, washed and entered by clean hands.
No matter if it's Dio, Orbital or Georgia Satellites, our employees scrub after prepping each artist. We stress the concept that clean hands mean clean tours, and if any of our workers ignore that rule, they get one warning. Right before we chop off their little fingers.
Please don't take this the wrong way. We're not saying that the other concert site practices unsanitary habits when working with the schedules for Tragically Hip, Uriah Heep and Styx. We're not suggesting they used the same keyboard to prepare the Andy Williams itinerary right after entering dates for Marilyn Manson. Nor would we even want to hint that the other concert site leaves The Sisters Of Mercy dates laying in the sun, thawing in standing water like so many frozen shrimp, before they're posted on their Web site. We'd need hard evidence to prove something like that, and we're tour data specialists, not your local board of health. But we can tell you that some of their employees used to work for us.
And if you don't believe us, just ask their editor. He's the one they call "Stubby."