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Tours de Farce: Taken' Out The Trash

12:00 AM, Sunday 7/22/01 Add |   |

As the concert industry staggers from the one-two punch of a soft economy coupled with lower-than-expected ticket sales, a new competitor enters the competition threatening to siphon even more dollars from this country's entertainment cash flow.

From the mansions of the Hamptons to the homes of Beverly Hills, backing SUVs over Long Island white trash has become the fastest extreme sport to rise to respectability since the spontaneous creation of ATM Demolition Derby at Woodstock in 1999. As leagues continue to spring up from coast-to-coast, concert analysts are predicting how this country's infatuation with the sport that combines finely crafted automobiles with the working class of one of America's most affluent neighborhoods might affect this season's box office results for big tours such as Eric Clapton or Madonna.

"Promoters are discovering that fans can't get enough of it," says Marti DiBergi, editor of Trashstar Magazine, the trade publication that tracks the SUV vs white trash circuit. If today's consumer is given the choice between, say, tickets for Brian McKnight and Electric Light Orchestra, or a night of grinding transmissions and cries of terror, attendance records show that fans are most likely to shout, "Out of my way, you freakin' white trash!"

But entertainment companies are often the first to recognize a new revenue stream. Spun off from a major concert promotion corporation, Rear Bumper Entertainment has already purchased the rights for Trashmania! 2001, a 16 city tour sponsored by Hefty Garbage Bags that will travel in tandem with bands like Judas Priest and Buckcherry.

Will SUVs backing over Long Island white trash continue to suck entertainment dollars from major tours like Janet Jackson and Neil Diamond? Or will corporate big bucks enable the two competing events to meld into one new attraction? "This could reinvent the concert experience," says Rear Bumper's chief publicist, L.Z. Grubman. "That's why we've hired Sir Mix-A-Lot to emcee Trashmania! 2001. Mark my words, within the next couple of months, all America will be screaming, "Put 'em on the glass! Back into that Long Island white trash!!"

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