I have to confess I’d pretty much given up on watching the Grammy Awards ceremony until last year, when producers of the show decided to make it more about the performances than presenting the awards.
If you haven't guessed by now, I love music. All kinds of music. Old and new. So I gave it a shot again and was – not bored. Which, as you know, is saying something when it comes to most award shows.
I was looking forward to this year’s show for a couple of obvious reasons. And for the most part, I wasn’t too surprised at the results. There were several great moments, a bunch of mediocre ones, a few dreadful ones and just a couple that made me glad I decided to DVR the show as well as watch it.
Lady Gaga/Elton John - A+.
First Elizabeth Windsor and now Elton John. Gaga sure has been hanging with a lot of old queens lately. Seriously, the whole thing was the kind of eye-catching, show stopping number we've come to expect from her. (It was also surprisingly sweet and charming when she and Elton were singing together.) And it would have been the performance of the night if only it weren't for:
Pink - What's higher than A+?
To quote Lady Gaga, "You've left me speechless." Pink managed to walk away with the whole thing last night. First of all, she looked gorgeous. Then there was the SINGING. While hanging halfway upside down, soaking wet and spinning. And somehow is was still an understated performance. (Sorry Gaga, love ya, but you were served.)
Beyoncé - ZZZZZZZZZZZZ, oh, sorry. C.
"If I Were A Boy" + Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know”? Really? Does Beyonce know it's 2010? And there are waaaaay better songs on Sasha Fierce than "Boy." Beyoncé, you're fabulous. Please leave the quasi-military thing to Rihanna.
Green Day - B-.
Love Green Day. Love Broadway musicals. But somehow putting the two together doesn't add up to more than the separate parts. I guess that could be because a lot of GD's appeal is a bratty, up yours attitude. Hearing a song like "21 Guns" sung like "Can You Feel The Love Tonight?" pretty much sucks the air out of that.
Zac Brown Band - B-.(for trying too hard).
"America the Beautiful"? Come on. We get it. Country and Americana acts are better Americans than the rest of the "Left Coast" entertainers. The flag waving ruined what was otherwise a great performance. Plus Zac's pitch was kind of iffy as he tried to slay the high part of the song. (But Leon Russell looked and sounded awesome on "Chicken Fried"!).
The Black Eyed Peas - D.
For all the noise will.i.am made last week about The Peas "stepping it up," their performance was boring and basically the same thing they did on the AMAs but with more speaker robots and lots more running around over bigger distances. It was distracting and unfocused and the singing suffered for it - not that they're awesome on that front live anyway. Did they learn nothing from Adam Lambert's AMA performance? Plus "Imma Be" is one of the weakest cuts on The E.N.D. and I love "I've Got A Feeling," but I'm getting really tired of hearing it.
Taylor Swift/Stevie Nicks - B.
I kept thinking it was like looking at two points in the same life side by side. Way back when, Stevie was a wisp of a thing too and sang country (or heavily country-influenced) music. To be honest, Taylor was flatter than usual on "Rihannon." In her defense, it was a bad song for her. The key she and Stevie performed it in was a little out of Swift’s comfortable range. But she sounded fine on “Today Was a Fairytale” and great on "You Belong With Me." Plus it was adorable having Stevie sing it with her like a favorite aunt at a family picnic. (And Butch Walker was on fire!)
Jamie Foxx - C-.
Also trying too hard. I thought for a moment I was watching the big "everybody on stage" finale number. I get that co-signs are all the rage in the hip-hop world. But can we keep it to one guest please? (And who was the woman onstage attempting to head bang and swing her extensions while Slash, looking slightly lost, tried to turn the number into a Guns N’ Roses song or "Dirty Diana.") Oh yeah, almost forgot. If you can sing, please leave the Auto Tune in the box. Really over it.
Mary J. Blige/Andrea Bocelli - A.
Classy and moving. Especially considering what a tightrope walk the opera + pop combo can be. But then Mary J. always brings that. (Why am I suddenly hungry for spaghetti though?)
Lady Antebellum – A.
An excellent display of good old-fashioned musicanship. Three of young Nashville’s most talented delivering another solid performance - despite a vengeful curtain.
Maxwell/Roberta Flack - A.
Also a classy, understated performance by two insanely talented singers. And who doesn't love Roberta Flack? ("I felt all flushed with fever...")
Dave Matthews Band - C.
Bored now. Time for a snack break. But seriously, the best part was when they were "rockin' out." I'll bet soccer moms across the country were giddy with glee. (Why hasn't DM landed a Valium or Botox endorsement deal yet?)
Lil' Wayne, Drake, Eminem, Travis Barker – C-.
See Jamie Foxx. (How's that album coming along Drake? Hmm? How's that going? You makin' any progress there? Why is he so highly rated without an album? Or a tour? Why is it taking so long? Are we looking at the "Ishtar" of hip-hop here?) And can someone please tell me what Quentin Tarantino, who’s beginning to look like Robin Williams’ long lost twin, was thinking with his intro? Phew!
Bon Jovi – D.
For not really trying at all. It was telling that Sugarland’s Jennifer Nettles fit right into the band like she’s been there for the past 25 years. Jon and company may finally have found the place they belonged all along – the honky tonk. Their performance of “Who Says You Can’t Go Home” had 1000 times more energy than “Livin’ On a Prayer.” It’s like their hearts aren’t in the rock stuff anymore.
Usher, Celine Dion, Smokey Robinson, Jennifer Hudson, Michael Jackson - C.
Basically a big waste of time and talent. A tribute to MJ is a wonderful thing, but this one just felt like those shows they used to have at Great America starring college students on summer break. Or "Up with People." Michael's children seem to be very genuine and intelligent people though. Plus they're already beautiful at 12 and 11. Look out world.
But let’s end this review on a high note – literally.
Jeff Beck/Imelda May – Another better than A+.
When I first spotted May sitting next to Beck in the audience, I just assumed she was his wife/girlfriend/friend. When he started playing Les Paul and Mary Ford’s “How High the Moon” and she was onstage with him I thought, hmm. Then she sang. Wowee-wow-wow! And that’s one tough song. If you don’t believe me, you try getting through the modulated scale that leads from the bridge into the second verse without pulling something. So we have a guitar great (Beck) honoring a guitar legend (Les Paul) plus the evening’s “Holy Cow! Who is that singing?” moment in the same number. Brilliant.
Now that the Grammys are over for another year, I can hardly wait for the Academy Awards. If the folks in middle-America thought Björk in a swan dress was a trip, wait until they get a look at Yeah Yeah Yeahs frontwoman and freak-flag poster girl Karen O. (O is nominated for Best Original Song for “All Is Love” from the "Where the Wild Things Are" soundtrack)
So what are your thoughts on last night’s Grammy Awards performances? Pass? Fail? Time for a tutor?
Speaking of fail, someone over at MTV.com has been sleeping through class again. Take a look at this, which earns my “Doh!” caption award for the year to date.