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Tours de Farce: The Hand That Rocks

12:00 AM Sunday 12/5/04 | |

Overheard at the supermarket...

"Stella! I haven't seen you in weeks. How is everything?"

"Everything is fantastic, Brenda. In fact, I'm getting married again!"

"Really? But the last time I saw you, you were going through a divorce. In fact, you said you had sworn off men. What made you change your mind?"

"Horace."

"Horace? But... but... wasn't he the guy you married in the first place?"

"Yeah, but everything's going to be different this time."

"I've heard that before."

"It is going to be different, Brenda. Horace and I were made for each other."

"But how can you say that? You split up the day after the wedding."

"Well, Brenda, after much soul-searching, I realized that Horace is the only man for me. You see, we both love concerts."

"Oh?"

"Uh, uh. We just can't get enough of them. For instance, next Monday we're seeing Brian Wilson

"That should be a good show."

"And on Tuesday we're going to see Daryl Hall & John Oates.

"I wouldn't mind seeing them myself."

"Then on Wednesday it's Hal Ketchum, Thursday, The Hives, and on Friday, we're going to catch Julie Roberts."

"Sounds like a busy schedule. But what about Saturday?"

"On Saturday we're seeing R.E.M."

"Ooohhh! I'm jealous."

"Right after we get married again."

"What?"

"We have it all figured out, Brenda. The wedding is at 6, followed by the reception. Horace and I figure that we can make the obligatory appearance. You know, do the dance, cut the cake, and be in our seats by show time."

"But isn't that why you divorced him in the first place? Didn't he make you rush through the reception, skip the throwing of the bouquet, and take the wedding cake in a doggie bag, only so that you two could make it to those nosebleed seats in time to see Cher?"

"Yeah, but things are going to be different this time. Just you watch."

"But it sounds all too familiar to me, Zelda. You're rushing through the reception to get to the show. How can things possibly be any different this time around?"

"This time he bought better seats."

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