The name is Rocko. That's all you need to know. No last name or anything like that. Nuttin' that you can finger me with. Just Rocko. I'm the new customer service representative for Pollstar.com.
You see, my pal Tony Pollstar just took over the family business from his uncle Eb. Seems that Tony was a little worried about Eb runnin' the biz now that the economy has taken a powder. In fact, Tony thought that Eb might be the source of all the problems. So Tony had to step in and do something. And Eb? Well, Tony sez Eb ain't no problem no more.
So I'm here to tell you that there's gonna be some changes at Pollstar.com. Sure, we'll still be a family run operation listing tour dates for all the big acts like Shania Twain, Courtney Love and Cattle Decapitation. The difference is, we're no longer gonna tell you where we got the dates. Like, maybe we got the Whitesnake dates from his manager. Maybe we got 'em from his booking agent. Or maybe they just fell off of a truck that happened to be driving by while we were standing in the street. Like Tony sez, "Ignorance is bliss."
And we're gonna be a little more aggressive when it comes to collecting new tour info. We'll take what we want, when we want it and how we want it. No matter if it's the schedule for Mariza, Daze or Anthrax. And if anyone gets in our way? Well, it's like Tony sez. "Make 'em an offer they can't refuse."
So that's the way it is. We're runnin' the show, now. Me and Tony. You want dates? We got 'em, including the latest routings for Guy Davis, Dillinger Escape Plan and Simon & Garfunkel. But we gotta warn you, things might get a little rough around here. A few people might disappear, or just end up doin' the dead man's crawl in the Fresno River. Believe you me, tour data is a highly competitive business and if you can't stand the heat, you should get out off the kitchen.
Or as Tony sez, "In order to make an omelet, you gotta break a few legs."