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Tours de Farce: Organ Music

12:00 AM Wednesday 8/13/03 | |

What's the biggest threat facing the concert industry today?

It's not empty seats, nor is it rising ticket prices, inflated convenience charges or Axl threatening another tour. It's not legal problems, labor problems or birthing problems, nor is the menace related to local laws, federal laws or in laws. In fact, the biggest threat facing the concert industry has nothing to do with the myriad of problems the profession faces each day as it brings you top-notch entertainment from stars such as Jackson Browne, Skid Row or Mix Mob. Instead, that threat originates a bit closer to home.

It's the lack of suitable organ donors for the men and women who helm today's live-music entertainment empire.

"Knowledge is power" goes the old saw, and the total knowledge contained in the collective heads that make up the concert industry is the most powerful of all. However, that power is slowly being whittled away by the untimely demise of individuals who know how to schedule a tour for Sponge, how to book a date for Gillian Welch and Sizzla, and how to present stadium extravaganzas such as Springsteen's current ballpark romp.

Imagine you're a concert promoter. You're doing OM Trio tomorrow night, 311 and The Buckinghams on Friday night and The Rolling Stones on Saturday. Suddenly, you're experiencing chest pains, shortness of breath, and the inability to yell at the booking agent over the phone. That's right, you're having one helluva coronary, but that's only half of the problem. Your real trouble starts when your doctor tells you there's at least a six-month waiting list for a new heart.

That's why we created the Pollstar.com Concert Industry Organ Bank. As a card-carrying member, you'll sleep easier knowing that your organs can help concert professionals continue their fine, fine work long after you're lowered into the cold, cold ground.

Imagine! Your organs in the body of a concert industry professional! Give the gift of life so that others may book dates for Dark Star Orchestra, DJ Hive and Pinmonkey! Make that call today!

Legal stuff: Donator agrees to donate any organ at any time upon request of recipient regardless of donor's personal health. Once donated, organs become the property of the concert industry. Donating organs does not entitle the donator's descendents to free tickets, backstage passes or a discount on parking. All donations are final. Donating is free, however there is a small convenience charge for shipping and handling.

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