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Tours de Farce: Professionally Speaking

12:00 AM Thursday 7/3/03 | |

Let's get one thing straight.

We don't actually work in the processing pits where schedules like the latest dates for Robbie Williams and Muse are entered into our massive database that physically encompasses most of central California and forms the economic backbone that is Fresno, CA. No, we toil above ground, right next to the Olympic-size pool where we knock back margaritas all day while complaining that it's too hot to work. That is, if we're not yelling at the help to shave more ice and slice more limes. Damn Canadians, sometimes you have to draw them a picture if you want anything done right.

We're also not responsible for answering all the email, like "When's The Juliana Theory coming to my town?" or "How much do backstage passes for Bon Jovi cost?" We pay people to do that for us. Well, actually we entice the little children from the local orphanage with vague promises that their parents are really coming back in order to persuade them to answer our email. So the next time you shoot us a message stating that we missed a date for Great White or that we misspelled a city on the David Cassidy itinerary, sign it "Mom & Dad." It always makes their grubby little faces light up.

As you can guess, there's more to this Web site than what meets the eye. There are thousands upon thousands of people entering dates for The 5th Dimension, proofing the schedule for Home Grown and updating the routing for Concrete Blonde. And it's our job to ride on top of this vibrant wave that is the Pollstar.com workforce. It's our responsibility to accept the praise and divert the complaints to someone else.

Because, when you get right down to it, we all have our particular jobs here at Pollstar.com, and our job is to ensure that everyone else does their jobs so we don't have to bother with our job. Tough? You bet. In fact, you wouldn't believe how tough our job is.

Heck, if it weren't for the four-day workweeks and the six-month vacation policy, we'd go nuts.

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