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Tours de Farce: Let Me Tell You All A Story…

12:00 AM Friday 10/19/01 |   |

Who owns us?

Good question. With all the bankruptcies, mergers, acquisitions and pink slips making news in the dot-com world, more than one person has asked us of late; "Who owns Pollstar.com?"

At first glance Pollstar.com looks like any other well-managed international corporation. We spend our days devising new ways to crush the opposition, lay waste to competitors and smite anyone who dare stands before us. But there's a darker side of the company that brings you fresh dates for acts like Wilco and The Sheila Divine on a daily basis. A facet of our enterprising tour date megalopoly that has yet to see the light of day. That is, until now. Are you ready? Can you handle the truth?

Sure, we boast of our founder, Festus Pollstar, and how he rose from the gutters of Fresno to build the empirical concert routing monolith that is Pollstar.com. How he bribed, cheated and slept his way through countless city councils until our mighty logo rose above the dusty abandoned car landscape of the central San Joaquin Valley. And even though Festus is long gone, he still resides in the hearts of each and every Pollstar.com employee. We make weekly field trips to his final resting place in Anaheim, where we stand before his cryogenically frozen body and recite the latest dates for Jude and Chris Whitley in hushed tones so we don't wake up Walt Disney or Howard Hughes. But is this the answer that you seek? Do you remember the question?

Ah yes, who owns us? If the truth be told, and it seldom is, it would tell you of the 1960s nouveau rich entrepreneur who sunk his black gold dollars, his Texas tea greenbacks into a struggling little concert info company back when LBJ was president and William Shatner was considered the ultimate thespian. That simple, self-made man who believed in a future filled with dates for Dishwalla and Iffy, who wanted nothing more than a home for his family, a stick to whittle and a good seat for Natalie Merchant. And he still owns us today. Are you surprised?

Yes, we're still a family operation, but there are many families. The Kennedys, the Rockefellers, the Mansons, they all tried to acquire us at one time or another. But the oilman pursued his quest to supply dates for Angels Of Light, Dismemberment Plan and Dixie Dregs for one and all. Yes, we may not belong to old Festus' family, but we're still a family indeed. A family of daughters, mothers-in-law and nephews that sucks up to the concert industry and brings you dates for Kylie Minogue and The Stereo.

Now, if you will excuse us, it's time for that weekly trip to Anaheim. Jethro has already pulled the truck around front, Granny has whipped up a fresh pot of vittles for the journey and Elly May has gathered all her critters. But don't worry. We'll be back tomorrow with the latest dates for Ray Wylie Hubbard, Col. Parker and Destiny's Child. Until we meet again, we'd like to leave you with these words of wisdom from our owner:

"Y'all come back now, ya hear?"

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