How much can you know about yourself if you've never been to a concert? That's why we started Concert Club.
The first rule of Concert Club is that you never talk about Concert Club. It's a secret club. I can't tell you what we do, but it involves The Eagles, Dwight Yoakam and Eric Clapton. And Drano. Lots and lots of Drano.
We even have our own clubhouse. Actually, it's an old warehouse, but it has a really big loading dock, which comes in handy for those Drano shipments, as well as the gasoline trucks and the antibiotic deliveries. Loading docks are important. Especially when you're experimenting with volatile substances as well as Kristin Hersh, Don Williams and Alejandro Sanz.
The second rule is that you never talk about Concert Club. Everything described here is strictly hush-hush. Secrecy is the key if we're ever going to get this thing to work. Secrecy, Drano, formaldehyde and Jorma Kaukonen. With those ingredients, we're almost ready to start the plan.
And it's a great plan. We've enlisted some of the best minds in the country to work on this plan. Part one of the plan calls for Survivor and Popa Chubby along with Drano and cattle prods. That's the electric prods with the really high voltage. You need high voltage when you're about to execute a plan as brilliant as this one. Especially when Buckcherry and Legendary Pink Dots are involved.
Would you like to join our club? We need people who can whittle, clean a fish and book dates for 311 and Buddy Guy. Needless to say, experience with nuclear reactor rod disposal and Drano disarming is definitely a plus.
Of course, you have to go to a lot of concerts if you want to belong to Concert Club. That's our third rule. You have to go to every show, including George Fox, Air and Down To The Bone. It's a club meant to last. Once you're in Concert Club, you're in for life. You can't quit. You can't be kicked out. You're here for eternity, for better or for worse. It's just like marriage.
Except there's more Drano.