Less than 24 hours after it first emerged in northern Canada, a new computer virus has wrecked havoc on computers all over the world.
"The Naked Promoter" arrives as an email attachment. Upon clicking on the attachment, the user is greeted by an animation of a nude fat man announcing shows for The Juliana Theory, Everclear and Boy George. Unlike previous concert-oriented viruses like "Topless Manager" and "Beefcake Booking Agent," Naked Promoter also searches the user's hard drive and deletes dates for The B-52's and Ambrosia, before it finally emails itself to everyone listed in the user's address book.
"You can understand the temptation to click on a file labeled "Naked Promoter," said computer security consultant Thomas "Neo" Anderson. "How many times have you gone to a show, maybe Pantera or Lizzy Borden, and you've found yourself thinking, 'I wonder what the promoter looks like naked?' Then this email arrives and you can't click on it fast enough."
Apparently many people throughout the world agree, for Naked Promoter has already been reported to infect computers at the Pentagon, Microsoft and The Vatican. There are also unsubstantiated reports that the virus has mutated, and may be spreading behind various aliases such as "Promoter Stud Muffin" and "Concert Hunk."
But no matter what name Naked Promoter travels under, users can still identify the virus by its file extension. According to Thomas, the most common extensions for the virus are .Apocalyptica and .Orb.
"However," added Thomas, "these things usually disappear over time. In fact, we're already receiving reports of a new virus that literally swallows up the Naked Promoter. It's named after a little town in the Yukon called Salle Francis Xavier, but we just call it SFX for short."