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Tours de Farce: Putting Your Town On The Map

12:00 AM Monday 2/5/01 | |

We're looking for one good town.

We're looking for a town that wants to make something of itself. A town that wants to be famous. A town that wants to share in our good fortune.

We're looking for a town that's willing to change its name to Pollstar.com.

Of course, this isn't the first time the Smallvilles of America have been given the opportunity to swap their monikers in exchange for fleeting notoriety. For example, Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico, took on the name of that famous quiz show of the 50s. However, we're not playing games. Not only are we looking for a town to wear our corporate nametag, we're also looking for a town that will embody the essence of the concert business.

Think of the possibilities! Once you change your name to Pollstar.com, bands like Wylie & The Wild West Show and Rita Coolidge will flock to your little burg. Imagine Marilyn Manson sitting on your city council or Elton John coaching little league. Imagine the envy of the other towns once they know that Vanilla Ice is the president of your chamber of commerce.

Of course, only one town will be able to fly the Pollstar.com flag, and we have no doubt that the offers are going to start flooding our offices by the end of today. So, if you want a community that has Taylor Dayne serving as dog catcher, or The Smothers Brothers acting as drain commissioners, now's the time to make the phone calls, circulate the petitions or hold the referendums, whatever it takes to slap Pollstar.com on the next edition of Rand McNally.

But wait, there's more. If you rename your town Pollstar.com, we'll route every major tour, like Sting, Eric Clapton and Jimmy Sturr And His Orchestra, through your community. Of course, we really don't schedule the itineraries that appear on our Web site. However, many tour bus drivers, as well as road managers, visit our site daily, and if they think they're playing your town, that's all that matters. Right?

Think of it. No longer will you have to explain to outsiders that your hamlet is named after some long forgotten pioneer that no one remembers. You'll live in Pollstar.com, where Jimmy Buffett Avenue crosses Neil Sedaka Boulevard. Where every day is a new tour day.

And we'll have the satisfaction of knowing that we've finally beaten SFX to the punch. A very worthy accomplishment, indeed.

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