You're not alone. Traditionally, the Fourth of July weekend has always been one of the biggest movie weekends of the year. As a public service, we thought we would run down the newest films to hit the theatres.
If you're one of the many who are planning on seeing Rocky and Bullwinkle, we have one simple question for you; Have you seriously thought this over? We're talking about a movie about a moose and squirrel. And you can see Jason Alexander every night on reruns of Seinfeld. You're better off checking out the dates for Ani DiFranco, No Doubt and Billy Ray Cyrus on Pollstar.com.
Another big movie out this weekend is The Perfect Storm. When you strip away the big names like George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg, then look past the special effects, the sad reality is this is a film about weather. A big budget version of the Weather Channel. Wouldn't you rather look at the dates for Robbie Williams and Martina McBride on Pollstar.com?
Then there's that Mel Gibson movie, The Patriot. Like, who wants to spend the Fourth Of July weekend watching Mel fight for independence against the British? What was Hollywood thinking? Is this their idea of a big American holiday movie? There's no aliens, no monsters, no Will Smith. Better off looking at the dates for the Buzzztopia Tour on Pollstar.com.
In fact, we think it would make more sense if Hollywood made a movie about tour dates. Think of it, you're sitting in the dark, and everyone is reading aloud the dates for Modern English as the itinerary scrolls across the screen. Now that's something we'd pay five bucks to see.
Especially if it had Mel Gibson, George Clooney, some really great special effects, plus a moose and squirrel. Yeah, that's the ticket.