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Tours de Farce: Working For A Living

12:00 AM Thursday 5/4/00 | |

"Hi Clive. The usual?"

"Thanks, Joe. Make it a double."

"Yes, sir. Say, I heard about the news. I'm awfully sorry."

"Well, it's not like I didn't know it was coming, what with all the gossip in the music trades. And to think I gave that record company the best years of my life."

"I hear you."

"I was responsible for some of the biggest acts on that label. Santana, Eurythmics, BR5-49; it takes real talent to nurture artists like that."

"I know. So what are you going to do?"

"I thought I would do some traveling. You know, relive my teenage years. Maybe load up a Volkswagen van and see John Wesley Harding or Mick Taylor."

"There's an idea."

"Or hitchhike across Europe and check out the festivals. I'd love to see David Bowie at Glastonbury."

"Sounds like a winner."

"Then there's Natalie Cole and Insane Clown Posse. I could get a job backstage and travel with the bands for a couple of weeks. I always wanted to be a roadie."

"There you go."

"I wouldn't mind catching a couple of comedians like Bob Newhart or Paula Poundstone. I know I could use a good laugh."

"We all could."

"But no matter what I do this summer, I've got to get out of the house."

"Cabin fever?"

"You said it. I get restless when I spend too much time at home."

"Ain't that the truth."

"I mean, a man can only spend so much time using Napster to download Metallica songs. There's so many of them."

"It can be addicting. Another one, Clive?"

"Better not. Whitney's out in the car, and if I don't hurry, she might forget I'm in here and drive off without me."